What Do They Want, Anyway?

Jane, played by Ashley Judd(in the film Someone Like You) may be pissed off. Men love her and leave her even while she’s looking for Mr Right. Sounds familiar? Well, it should. Writers and filmmakers are hooked. The theme is women and what they want. Whether it was the romantic Mel Gibson starrer What Women Want or Anita Nair’s deftly written Ladies Coupe, the hottest discussed topic these days is from a woman’s point of view.
Forget the bra burning and the soapbox equality. Nobody talks of ‘rights’ anymore. Instead, it’s emotions and expectations that get discussed. “It’s only correct that a woman’s new found confidence should be focussed on,” feels S Sundararaj, Principal Consultant at Satyam Computers, “This is of course an age when women are no longer just homemakers - they are important decision-makers in every home. It is high time the media and movies highlighted this.”
“Yes, there’s a change in attitudes prompted by the increasing number of women taking up jobs,” says A Karpagavalli, sociologist, “It’s a phenomenon that has been galvanised by women’s education, urbanisation and the break-down of the joint family system that pampered the males in the family.”
But take a break from all the happy media hype and hunker down to real life, where the man who dishes out regular hot meals to his harassed and pressed-for-time partner is one in a million. The Chennai woman cannot exercise the choice that Judd does in the film - even less can she expect her partner to be Mr Right or the New Age Man. “The change, as I see it,” comments Sushila Ravindranath, CEO of Hansazone.com, “Is within traditional parameters. Young women are asserting themselves in various ways, but within these limited parameters.”
Working women doubling up as homemakers with little help from unsympathetic spouses is not new. “It is still not unusual to find men who think the woman’s place is in the kitchen,” says Ashwin Rajagopalan of Pratika, an image consultancy firm, “But today, there are a lot of women in jobs, working and they are being accepted as co-workers and as bosses.”
With two-income families becoming the norm in urban and semi-urban areas, men have become forced to accept a certain shift in responsibilities and status, and as Ashwin says, “Men who grow up seeing their mothers work will find it easy to adjust to such changes.” Adds Karpagavalli, “Men of the next generation will be able to adapt better.”
Jane, in Chennai, will have to move into Gen Next to exercise her freedom of choice. And find Mr Right.